1. Left Hand (3:11) | 2. Beer | 3. Helmet | 4. Old Time Hockey | 5. Paradise | 6. Sad and Lonely
7. Barking Spiders | 8. Eat My Religion | 9. Gone | 10. Grandma | 11. Walnut Grove | 12. Sick of Techno
13. Beat Me Up | 14. Soupman | 15. Mall Security | 16. Beautiful | 17. Back Porch

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1. Left Hand (3:11)
Love, Love, Love.
The best thing in the world happened to me, and I'm not gonna let it go.
When it comes times for it to happen to you, well you'll know, yes you'll know.
You'll get all hot on the inside, and feel like your gonna explode.
Then ya never feel like you're never gonna get enough,
'till you look beside you and you'll know.

Your in love, with your left hand,
it treats you right, it understands... the love.

Love, love, love. (x2)
Never know love could be this way, but I got it in the palm of my hand.
Seems the best things in life are free, and now I understand.
Seems I was looking too far away to get what I was looking for.
But now I never leave the house, I never go out anymore.

I'm in love with my left hand.
It treats me right, it understands.

I'm in love with my left hand.
The best thing in the world happened to me, and I'm not gonna let it go.
When it comes times for it to happen to you, well you'll know, yes you'll know
You'll get all hot on the inside, and feel like your gonna explode.
Then ya never feel like you're never gonna get enough,
'till you look beside you and you'll know.

Your in love, with your left hand,
it treats you right, it understands... the love.

It understands, that thing called love.

2. Beer
Just like magic water, beer flows down my veins.
I find its use everyday, makes society look somewhat sane.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, tippatippa, hallalujah, hey.
I'm gonna drink the suds, until I'm put in my grave.

Cause beer is here to stay (x4)

Everywhere I go, I'm encouraged to drink beer.
I love the shit, I'd bathe in the shit, as long as I can shoot my load.
And when I've had lots -- I'll piss in my socks.
And then suck back down another brown and on with the show.

Cause beer is here to stay (x4)

Never be without your beer!!! (x4)

Cheers!!! Cheers!!! Cheers!!! Cheers!!!
Cheers!!! Cheers!!! Cheers!!! Cheers!!!

In the staggered moment of my drunken dawn,
I rap with James about what's beyond.
We both concluded quite equally, and rather matter of factly...

Beer is here to stay (x5)

3. Helmet
You Want It? We got it!
Another song that sounds like HELMET.
Heard it once, and then again.
Check it out, on guitar.
It goes on, and on and on.
It never stops, and it sounds like that band.
What's there name?!? HELMET!!!

HELMET!!!

4. Old Time Hockey
LET'S GO!

I'm sick and tired, of all those ugly jersey's,
I wish that hockey, was the way it used to be.
No one's got the heart or dedication to the game.
No more Gordie Howe Elbows.
Just high sticks & Ultra's knees!
Too many player agents. Too many fuckin' colors.
Too many visors. Too many football numbers.
Come On! And let's get this game back to where it used to be.
I believe in Don Cherry and old time hockey!

Old, time, old, time,
Old, time, old, time, HOCKEY!

I hope the clutching, grabbing and the trap will be gone one day.
Keep your head up! Keep the puck down, fightings gotta stay.
Forget those high tech graphics, I can see the puck just fine.
Ice Hockey in Tennesee? To me, that, just ain't right.

WHAT ABOUT HAMILTON?

Old, time, old, time,
Old, time, old, time....

Hockey is Canadian (x8)

5. Paradise
(Go away... USA!!!)

Sitting around thinking things are getting a bit lazy,
and no friends moody girls, thinking they're your mom.
Seems everyday I cross my legs, I think about farming.
I'm laughing at the rain, and everything under the sun.

Then I get to see you.
Watch you manipulate your world.
Then I wonder why all you do, is strictly for you.

You know the days you collect charm. (x4)

Go away, USA, everywhere I look you're in my face (x2)

(Go away... USA!!!)

Plaster of paris politicians with pelvic motions.
Telling me how fucked up everyone else is.
Well can't we see we're all part of one big picture?
With power and greed and sucking off the C.I.A.

And everyday I see you.
Watch you manipulate our world.
And I can't believe the Maple Leaf still flies.
And it's all so absurd.
Amidst your social turmoil.
But you just can't compete, you've got to annihilate.

You know the days you collect charm. (x4)

Go away, U.S.A.
Your social disease is touching our borders.
Stay away, U.S.A.
Seperate from North America.
Freedom is alot, freedom means alive,
You can't move forward with those stubborn eyes.
You will never be free. (x4)

Paradise, USA, USA, u.s. (7x)

6. Sad and Lonely
Poopy, Poopy, Poopy.
Smelly lower belly
And I, and I like it
Stinky, Pinky, Dinky
And she loves me.
When I, when I... ooooh!

Why do I drink? 'Cause I enjoy it!
Go stick your nose, in someone else's business.
I could care less, what you think anyway.

Eat shit, shut up, FUCK YOU (x3)

Why do I drink? 'Cause I'm over employed and,
I like the way it feels, when I fall on my face and,
I stumble around like a, pathetic retard.

Eat shit, shut up, FUCK YOU (x3)

Alcoholic, Punk Rock funny hair.
Funny, funny hair.
Smelly, smelly hair.
It's so smelly down there.

Well I go out and, have fun with, my stupid friends.
They leak as, we drink it's, much better then lonely.
Stupid fucks, useless punks, dirty piles of shit.
But it's better than playing boredom, with silly friends.

Eat shit, shut up, FUCK YOU (x3)
And fuck me too!

Eat shit, shut up, FUCK YOU, and fuck me too. (x2)

Sad and lonely, on my way to, sad and lonely, being afraid. (x4)

7. Barking Spiders
Barking spiders, when they're yapping at me.
I have to leave the room, or open a window.
The only consolation, that I have.
Is that the bark, ain't as bad as the bite.

Their breath is bad, something I can't stand.
Unless the arachnid is a pet of my own.
Crusin' down the road with a car full of mates.
Ya gotta roll it down or choke in the chamber.

(Chorus) All the spiders (woof, woof), are barking at me. (woof, woof)
Barking spiders (woof, woof), are in your face. (woof, woof)

They're worse than Stimpy wherfing up hair balls.
Or Ren pulling out the nerve ending from his gums.
They may end up on channel sixty nine.
It's real, it's now, it's in your face!!!

(Chorus)

I made a mistake when I pulled that finger.
I should've of left it there, pointing at me.
Pretty soon I couldn't see thru the water in my eyes.
When the pulling of that digit triggered a canine's cry!
Owwwwwwwwwwwwww...............

(Chorus x2)

I made a mistake when I pulled that finger.
I should've of left it there, pointing at me.
POINTING AT ME!

8. Eat My Religion
1-2-3-4

I don't care, what you say, about my religion.
What's with politics, another stupid decision,
to make life a little harder, like it wasn't hard enough.

And while you were praying,
to the god you think is there, but is he really there at all?
To base your society, on something you can't hear or see.
If you want another false prophet come and pray to me.

Is there really a god up there?
Or do you prey 'cause you are scared.
Is there really a god up there?

Have you talked to your god today? (hey hey hey)
Did he have some nice things to say,
About those people, in Afganistan.
Who he let die at some Russians hand (hey hey hey)
and all those people, back at home.
Who are always, so alone.
And there's no one to comfort them.

Is there really a god up there?
Or do you prey 'cause you are scared.
Is there really a god up there?

I don't care, what you say, about my religion.
Like anything you've said before, it has no meaning.
The thing I am searching for I don't think I will find.
And that's the TRUTH!

9. Gone
Fuel injected cargo, on board in the basement again.
Looking the other way, I've whacked a few in the deep roe.
Now the silence is as golden, as the day is long.
Can't connect with friendship, think I'll take the long way round.

The long way round -- Underground.

Compromise your fragility, find yourself deep in the ground.
Keep thinking nothing's wrong, as it all just slips away.
Everythings about tomorrow, nothing but success and greed.
Now's getting to late for, low-down getting to-know you at all.

It's our thirst for punishment, Global infestation of the pigs.
Sitting at home we analyze, Too fuckin' pathetic to be involved.

You better look proper,
Believe in the right stupid fuckin' god.
Blend in -- better blend in,
Blend in -- better blend in don't do nothing wrong.
Don't do nothing wrong! (x2)

Let it go against, Let it all just slip away.
It's our thirst for punishment, Global infestation of the pigs.
Sitting at home we analyze, Too fuckin' scared to be involved.

To be involved.

10. Grandma
This is a song, about, my grandmother.
She raised me from a boy, as if she were my mother.
She taught me things about people, I could learn from no other.
She taught me to believe in myself, and no other.

(Chorus) She was, the one, who believed, in me.
Taught me about my spirit, and how to, be free.
She taught me all these things with love.

That's why I say, I luv my grandmother, although she's dead.
That's why I say, I luv my grandmother, she was my friend.

After work we would walk home and we would kick some stones.
We wore out so many pair of shoes and we didn't care.
She gave me her love unconditionally ya know.
And I never said I loved her til she was on her death bed.

(Chorus)

That's why I say, I luv my Grandmother, although she's dead.
That's why I say, I luv my Grandmother, she was my friend.
But now she is gone, I never said I loved her, And now she's dead.

11. Walnut Grove
She's the girl, she's the girl,
She's the girl from Walnut Grove,
She acts so innocent, you know I love her, SO SO SO.
Little house on the Prarie, that's the place for me.
Right by Laura's side, that's where I wanna be.

(Chorus) She's the girl from Walnut Grove.
I know she'll never love me so.
I'll sit and watch your TV show,
Laura won't you be my girl.

Pick me -- HEY!

She's the girl, she's the girl,
She's the girl from Walnut Grove.
I fell in love with you, when you were just a girl, girl, girl.
I sat at home and watched you grow up in front of me.
My favorite show, you and your whole family.

(Chorus)

She's the girl from Walnut Grove,
Gotta let her know I love her so.
But everytime I get you on the phone,
You hang up everytime you think I would know.
You could never fall for a guy like me.
When you should have just about anybody.
So if you're ever feeling alone.
Give me a call you know where I'll be, by the phone.

12. Sick of Techno
Sick of, techno, I'm so sick of, techno,
I'm so sick sick sick sick of techno, techno

Thump Thump Thump is all, I ever hear.
It takes more talent, to drink a beer.
I'd rather fuck my nostrils, with some shit,
Then damage both my eardrums to those pre-programmed hits.

(Chorus) Techno sucks, no butts about it.
Jeep driving yuppy lovers make me sick
Date rapers, and after shavers,
Deep pocket techno ravers, using all the toilet paper.

If sound was smell, and smell was sound,
The odor of techno music, is all around.
Kind of like a mixture, of poo and rotting meat,
But it would probably smell like dumpster pee.

(Chorus)

Techno sucks, no butts about it,
Jeep driving yuppies lovers make me sick.
Date rapers and after shavers.
They're all fuckin' dinks, and I wish they would all FUCKIN' DIE!

13. Beat Me Up
I'm up, I'm down, I'm in, I'm out,
I'm black, and blue, from the person of you.
Emotionally scarred, from your big fist,
Too late for sorry, no need to ask why.
Here I am now, you wanna beat me up.

I was, hungry, just looking for some food,
And you, said no, and you beat me black and blue.
Can't tell no-one, 'cause you will kill me,
To be your son, I'm very sorry.

Here I am now, you wanna beat me up,
I'm just a little boy, and I'm not too tough.

(Chorus) Everywhere I look I see,
The parents treat their kids like shit. (beat me up)
They think they don't, have a mind,
Got nothin' to say, Beat them up!
It don't matter what they say, or try and do for you, (Beat me up)
Cause your too busy, Doing other things, to notice them. (Beat me up)
Well I'm a little boy, and you can beat me up,
Well it don't take much power, for you to beat me up.
Take me to your power.

(repeat chorus)

If your feeling bored take a look at me and beat me up.
Don't be scared I won't fight back, here I am just beat me up.

14. Soupman
Hello, I am The Soupman,
I live, most of my life in a can.
I'd like to take a moment to, tell you who I am.
And more importantly, who I'm better than.
And then I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Don't you think the bastards that are wielding all the power.
Are sitting kinda pretty in their shiny golden tower.
Don't you think that they are giving us a golden shower?
Turn to me, can't you see?

(Chorus) I'm The Soupman, I'll do what I can,
Turn me on dead man, I've got a finger for your pan.

And there are a few other ingredients that,
I'd like to add to my acid filled vat.
A brand new watch strap and the wing of a bat.
And you can gulp it all down, I'm a real fat cat.
I'm a real fat cat.

(Chorus)

Turn to me, can't you see, I'm The Soupman!!!

15. Mall Security
Sitting bored, by myself. Time to do something else.
Gonna get my shit together, go indoors, avoid the weather.
I know just, where to go, to the jumble ?!?
Hittin' the road I won't stall, makin' my way down to the mall,

And when I get there someone is waiting for me,
Uninformed and unfriendly.
Dressed in a uniform, a cop mustache and steel toad boots,
The dreaded mall security.

He didn't want me there, he didn't like my hair,
Didn't fit into his plans to spend the day watching morons.
Go outside every fifteen minutes for a smoke break,
and to chase nine year old shoplifters to justify his job.

His job is another piece of fuckin'... shit!

There was a chase down of sorts, after I stole some boxer shorts.
I'm not gonna pay 25 bucks, for a pair of underwear.
That fat fuck tried his best to chase me, but he tripped and skidded on his face.
Everytime I poo my pants I snicker as I clean the crap off my knickers.
Stick to your fashion geeks, ignore us freaks. We'll steal from you,
And fuck your mom, puke on your sister and sing along,
how you fat fuck wanna be security, try to catch me,
just sit back and wish, you weren't a sucker born in a uniform.

16. Beautiful
Life is so beautiful, if you can see,
Thru the bullshit but, put forth for you and me.
You live - You die - re - pro - duce,
More mouths - for us - to - feed now.
Money - problems - not right now.

You live your life, never knowing why, you're so controlled,
Wanting change to come, but know it won't, but know it won't.
That's the way it was, designed, intentionally.
Never wanting change, to come, for you and me.

Life is so beautiful, if you can see,
Thru deadly corporate, profit building money.
Your told - be strong - but you - can't.
You died - many - times today.
Now you - kneel down - and you, pray.

You live your life, never knowing why, you're so controlled.
Destruction all around, take a look around, destruction all around.
Wanting change to come, wanting change to come, wanting change to come.
Profit in their eyes, profit in their eyes, profit in their eyes.

Life is so beautiful, when you can see,
Thinking for yourself, was never meant to be.

17. Back Porch
(?!?)
Buddy sitting on his back porch, he's thinking worlds away.
Gotta really good dome, protection from the norm & a decent place to play.
One day he's thinking away out there, back porch open wide & free.
He rolls it over & over in his head. Back porch is where he wants to be.

(Chorus) Back porch, doorway to the dank unknown. (x2)

Now everybody knows what Buddy don't know while he is world's away.
They know death & gloom no use for the broom & deny any moral decay.
But backporch, Buddy's got no concerns, 'cause he's open wide & free.
Not like all of us compressed with disgust & drunken philosophy.

(Chorus)

As we dig & we crawl, fill our brains with useless law.
And you'll see as time goes on this peasant pawning goes nowhere at all.
Buddy knows he's on cruise, no T.V., never hears the news.
Buddy's purring so finely honed he's through the door to the dark unknown.
That's where he wants to be ya see back porch.

Back porch, doorway to the dank unknown. (x4)

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